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Headlines that could be dated April 1

Green-haired turtle that breathes through its genitals added to endangered list
With its punky green mohican the striking Mary river turtle joins a new ZSL list of the world’s most vulnerable reptiles

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Clipping Study of Male Organ Size
Professor halts study on link between size and self-esteem, saying publicity hurt her effort.

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Sorry, Dutch Pastafarians, but you still can’t wear a colander on your government ID ... yet

"De Wilde, 32, is a Dutch law student who subscribes to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Pastafarianism. But this week, the Netherlands' Council of State determined that her belief system doesn’t count as religion and thus rejected request to keep the pasta strainer on her head in her government ID photos."
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Maine officials say getting lobsters stoned with marijuana before killing them is illegal
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Florida gas station owner’s microwave sign: ‘Do not warm urine’
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Indian airport police told to cut down on smiling
"They will move from a "broad smile system" to a "sufficient smile system", the Indian Express says."
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10 stomachs, 32 brains and 18 testicles – a day inside the UK's only leech farm
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US troops drink Iceland capital’s entire beer supply in one weekend
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Woman ticketed for not holding escalator handrail to be heard by Supreme Court [Canada]
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Blind creature that buries head in sand named after Donald Trump
"A newly discovered blind and burrowing amphibian is to be officially named Dermophis donaldtrumpi, in recognition of the US president’s climate change denial."
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Tesla Model 3 driver again dies in crash with trailer, Autopilot not yet ruled out
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A Doping Scandal In Bridge? The World's Top Player Fails Drug Test
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French couple barred from calling son Griezmann Mbappe after football heroes
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World’s Most Expensive Perfume Available for US$1.3 Million
"Dubbed SHUMUKH (meaning “deserving the highest” in Arabic), the unisex perfume sits in a bottle adorned with 3,571 diamonds (totaling 38.55 carats) and other pieces of gold, silver, pearls, and topaz, and it can be customized with even further jewels, according to the company.
The perfume is currently on display at The Dubai Mall through March 30."

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